home wallpapers fan videos icons quotes & sounds screencaps links contact me		Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S6/Ep11 (111) "Gone" prev episode next episode Dawn: Candles?! We can't have candles? Buffy: Dawn, it's magic clearance. Everything must go. Dawn: B-but they're just candles! Buffy: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they're just candles, but to...witches they're...like bongs. Buffy: Dawn, do me a favor, can you grab the fertility god statue on the desk over there? Dawn: Kokopelli?! No! I love him! And he was Mom's. Why do we have to get rid of so many things I like? Buffy: Dawn, I explained this to you. Willow has a problem. The next few weeks are gonna be...crazy hard on her as it is. Buffy: Any reminder of, of what it is that she's trying to stay away from, you know, could cause her to...give in to temptation. And that would be bad. Warren: Okay, that's it. It's finally done. I mean, it still needs a trial run, but it's- Jonathan: Kind of clunky-looking. Warren: What?! Andrew: I pictured something cooler. More ILM, less Ed Wood. Jonathan: Hey! Hey! You penis! Warren: Oh, cheer up, Frodo. Because thanks to my brains, and our mystical gem, we got ourselves an invisibility ray. And I'd say that makes us pretty much unstoppable. Buffy: How are you doing? Willow: I'm okay. Not 'ready to head back to classes, face the world' okay, but...the shakiness is only semi now. I thought I'd spend the day fishing the net, for more poop on the, uh, stolen diamond. Willow: Okay, I deserve the wrath of Dawn, but ... why is she taking it out on you? Buffy: Because I let it happen. Willow: Buffy, I was the one who- Buffy: Who was drowning. My best friend. And I was too wrapped up in my own dumb life to even notice. Buffy: What are you doing? And, here? Spike: Just, uh, took a stroll. Found myself in your neck of the woods. Buffy: Couldn't find a less flammable time of day to take a stroll? Buffy: Stop trying to see me. And stop calling me that. Spike: So, um...what should I call you then? Pet? Sweetheart? My, uh...little goldilocks? Xander: Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike! Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen! Only a complete loser would ever hook up with you. Well, unless she's a simpleton like Harmony, or a, or a nut sack like Drusilla- Buffy: Okay, you have everything you need? Dawn: Yep. Buffy: And after school, you- Dawn: Yeah yeah. Let's go, Xander. (walking toward the door) Buffy: (intercepting her) You will come straight home. Dawn: Sure. Maybe we can find some time for you to get me into another car accident. Ms. Kroger: I'm Doris Kroger, from Social Services. We had an appointment? Buffy: Oh, for Wednesday. Ms. Kroger: This is Wednesday. Spike: So, we gonna chat this out, or what? Buffy: Uh...now's really not a-a good time. Um, I have company. Spike: No worries. I'll wait. Ms. Kroger: Um, Miss Summers, if you and your boyfriend would like to- Buffy: He is NOT- Buffy: Spike...this nice woman is, uh, from Social Services? Spike: Oh, right! Uh...hey! Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, um, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it. Ms. Kroger: I'm sorry, did you say- Buffy: Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang. Buffy: Uh, Spike, didn't you have to go now, you know, because of that thing? Spike: Uh, thing, yeah. Uh, my blanket. Ms. Kroger: He sleeps here? Buffy: What? No! No. Oh, uh, the, the, the blanket. That's, um, uh, it's a security thing, you know. He...has issues. Buffy: That's Willow. She, uh, she kind of lives here too, actually. Ms. Kroger: Oh, so you live with another woman. Buffy: Oh! Oh, it's not a, a gay thing, you know, I mean, well...she's gay, but, but we don't...gay. Not that there's anything...wrong with... Buffy: You know, I know what that looks like, but I, I swear, it's not...what it looks like. It's magic weed...It's not mine. Ms. Kroger: I think I've seen enough. Buffy: It's just ... i-it's been kind of, kind of a, a bad time. Ms. Kroger: It's been a bad time now for a while, hasn't it, Ms. Summers? Your sister's grades have fallen sharply in the last year, due in large part to her frequent absences and lateness. Buffy: But there-there are good reasons. Ms. Kroger: Oh, I'm sure there are. But my interest is in Dawn's welfare. And the stability of her home life, something I'm just not convinced that an unemployed young woman like yourself can provide. Buffy: I can. I, I do! Ms. Kroger: Well, we'll just have to see about that then, won't we? Ms. Kroger: Oh, and I'm, uh, going to recommend immediate probation in my report. Buffy: What does that mean? Ms. Kroger: It means that I'll be monitoring you very closely, Ms. Summers. And if I don't see that things are improving, well, I'll be forced to recommend that you be stripped of your sister's guardianship. Buffy: You can't do that. Ms. Kroger: I do what is in Dawn's best interest...as should you. Have a nice day. Spike: Didn't go well, huh? Buffy: Why won't you go? Spike: I just thought you'd want- Buffy: Get out of here! Spike: Just getting what I came for, luv. So long, goldilocks. Cleo: What exactly would you like me to do? Buffy: Just make me...different. Andrew: I'm scared, what if we get caught? Jonathan: No way, we'll be invisible. Plus their security's gotten lax. Warren: You should know. You've cased this joint enough. Jonathan: Give it! Andrew: No, I need to be invisible! Jonathan: I need it more, Buffy can't see me! Warren: Hey, watch it, don't you- Anya: Table four. I put her with your family. Xander: Great. Except, we don't hate Buffy. Xander: Let's put her back at table one. Anya: Well, where do I put D'Hoffryn? Xander: We're not inviting D'Hoffryn. Anya: We have to, he's my ex-boss! You're inviting your work buddies. Xander: Hey, Buffy...Where...where are you? Invisible Buffy: At table four, apparently. Anya: Well, that remains to be seen. Like you. Invisible Buffy: Don't strain yourself looking, Xander. I'm invisible girl. Xander: Her clothes are...invisible...too. Buffy, how did this hap...wait a sec, have you been feeling...ignored lately? Invisible Buffy: Yeah, ignored. I wish. No, this isn't a Marcie deal. I don't know what happened. I left Main Street after getting my hair cut, and— Anya: You cut your hair? Invisible Buffy: Oh, yeah! Anya: Really? How short? Invisible Buffy: Um, about up to here...well, if you could see my hand, it's kind of above my shoulders. Anya: Ahh, that sounds so adorable! I was thinking about getting my hair cut before the wed- Xander: Can we get back to freaking out about no-show Buffy? This is serious. Invisible Buffy: I know. It kind of fits the day I've had. Invisible Buffy: Willow's still a wreck, Dawn's mad at both of us, and the social services lady put me through a wringer. Says she's gonna watch me. I'd like to see her try now. Xander: Buff, did you say anyone, or...anything suspicious before you...cleared out? Invisible Buffy: Nope, didn't see nothin'. See what I did there, with the eyeballs? Anya: Why would anyone make her invisible anyway? I mean, invisible Slayer's gotta be way more effective than the standard variety. Xander: Yeah, I'm less with the why and more with the how. We get the how, then we got how to make her unseen sight seen again, right? Invisible Buffy: 'Saright! Xander: Buffy, could you focus please? Invisible Buffy: I am! Just...this is kind of fun. Anya: Well, seems pretty obvious it's some kind of spell that's done this to her. Xander: Spell from who? You said it yourself, it makes no sense for one of her enemies to make her invisible. Anya: Maybe it's a mistake. Xander: A magical mistake. Who'd be messing with that kind of pow- Xander: How's it going? Willow: Um...good. I, I, uh, found...out some stuff about the diamond stolen from the museum. It's called the Illuminata, and there's rumors of it having quasi-mystical quantum properties. Xander: Willow, we need to talk. Willow: We...are talking. Well, I'm talking and you're looking at me funny. Xander: Is there something you wanna tell me? Willow: It was nothing, I...I-I didn't slip. Xander: Will, nobody's mad. Relapse is a part of recovery, we understand that. We just have to figure a way to fix it. Willow: Fix what? Xander: Fix Buffy. Willow: Buffy's broken? Xander: Will, you know what I'm talki—You don't know. Rhymes with...'blinvisible'? Xander: Buffy was in town, leaving the haircutting place, when she suddenly just- Willow: Buffy got her hair cut? Xander: Yeah! Adorable, apparently. I personally couldn't tell, since she's all 'blinvisible.' Willow: And you think I had something to do with this? Xander: Uh, no...not...Well, come on, Will. Some of the spells you've done have caused some weird stuff to happen to each of us at one time or another. And let's not forget the recent forgetting. Willow: Oh. I see, so now when anything nasty happens, I get conveniently blamed for it? Xander: No one's blaming! Willow: So...I guess it wouldn't matter if I just jump off the wagon completely...since you already think I'm making pit stops. Warren: Couple of circuits are burned out, and the wiring's all fried. Andrew: But we had so many plans. Naked women, and all...well, all-all the naked women. This is all your fault, if you hadn't grabbed it from me- Jonantan: Hey, we got a lot bigger problems here, bonehead. The Slayer's invisible now? Andrew: He's right. She could be anywhere. Even here, right now. Watching. Listening to every word we say. For all we know, she could be one of us!...Oh, wait, no, guys, that isn't true. Warren: I wouldn't sweat the Slayer too much. Jonantan: Says you. In my book an invisible slayer means a whole world of trouble. Invisible Buffy: I am the ghost of fashion victims past. Studded caps? Not a good idea. Ms. Kroger: Okay, who's the— Invisible Buffy: Kill, kill, kill! Ms. Kroger: What? Coworker: I didn't say anything. Ms. Kroger: Not you! The mug, it's- Ms. Kroger: But I...I heard something. Invisible Buffy: Kill, Doris. Kill everybody. You know you want to. Ms. Kroger: Shut up, shut up, just shut up! Boss: I've, uh, got a few, so if you wanna discuss that case file now... Ms. Kroger: What? Oh! Oh yes, the, um, Summers file, it's, uh, it's right over here. Ms. Kroger: Uh, it's a fifteen-year-old girl, living under her older sister's guardianship. The house is a complete- Boss: What is this? "All work and no play make Doris a dull girl"? Ms. Kroger: What? Boss: "All work and no play make Doris" - the pages are filled with it. Ms Kroger: It was the voice. Boss: Excuse me? Ms Kroger: There was a voice, before. It made my coffee dance. It told me to— Boss: To what? Ms Kroger: Nothing. Boss: Doris...take the rest of the day off. See your doctor. Ms Kroger: But what about my cases? Boss: We'll, uh...put someone else on them. And have them redo the Summers interview. Xander: Hey Will. Whatcha doin'? Willow: Look, Xander, I–I figured out this was where Buffy disappeared from what you told me, so don't start jumping to any conclusions. Xander: No jumping, look, feet firmly planted. Willow: Whatever hit this fire hydrant hit it after it was made invisible. And betcha by golly wow, that something was the same something that shot out of that alley. Xander: Black paint? Buffy's phantom van. Xander: There's something there. Willow: I-it's a pylon, one of those orange traffic cones. You should take it to the Magic Box. It might help you and Anya figure out what kind of spell was used. Xander: What about you? Willow: Well, I got paint scrapings...and a tire mark. I'm gonna find this van that's been stalking Buffy. By the way, where is Buffy? Spike: Whatever beastie you are, I know you're here. And I hurt beasties. Spike: A ghost, is it? Go and haunt the living, like a good spook. Spike: Buffy? Invisible Buffy: I told you...stop trying to see me. Anya: Oh, I got it! Xander: Really? Anya: Yeah, we'll put D'Hoffryn at your parents' table, and move your Uncle Rory to table five near the bar. Xander: Ahn honey, we're looking for invisibility spells here. Anya: Ew! Xander! Xander: What happened? Anya: An unpleasant tactile experience, like putting my hand in pudding. Xander: Ew! Anya: Like pudding, am I right? Rice, or tapioca, lumpy like that. Xander: We have to find Buffy, she's gotta know. Anya: I don't think Buffy's gonna be too broken up over a pylon. Xander: Anya, whatever's happening to the pylon will probably happen to her. If we don't find Buffy, I-I mean...if we don't figure out how this was done... Anya: She's pudding? Jonathan: What do you mean she's gonna fade away? Warren: The Slayer got slammed with a big-ass dose of radiation when the gun overloaded. Her cells are mutating at an accelerated rate. Eventually her molecular makeup will start losing its integrity and then...pfft. Jonathan: Wait a minute! We're not killing anybody. Especially not Buffy! Warren: You guys are so immature! We're villains! When are you gonna get that through your thick skulls? Jonathan: We're not killers, we're crime lords! Andrew: Yeah! Like, like Lex Luthor. He's always trying to take over Metropolis, but he doesn't kill Superman! Warren: Because it's Superman's book, you moron! Andrew: But Lex doesn't kill him, does he?! Jonathan: Listen, Warren...you get that ray working and the first thing we're gonna do is find Buffy and re-visible her before it's too late! You got me?! Warren: Fine. Xander: Spike?...What are you doing? Spike: What am I...What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I? Xander: Exercising. Naked. In bed. Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. Gotta keep fit for the killing. Spike: So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping? Xander: No, uh, no. I'm looking for Buf- Spike: Haven't seen her. Xander: Well, uh, you wouldn't. The fact is, she's come down with a slight case of invisibility. Xander: Anyway, she's not at the house, and I really, really need to find her. Spike: Uh, tell you what, I'll...take a peek around first chance I get...and if we bump into each other, I'll clue her that you're on the lookout. Xander: After your...exercises. Spike: Yeah, right. Xander: You know, kidding aside, Spike...you really should get a girlfriend. Spike: That was bloody stupid. Invisible Buffy: What's the matter? Ashamed to be seen with me? Come on. He had no idea I was here. This is perfect. Spike: Perfect for you. Spike: This vanishing act's right liberating for you, innit? Go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Or anyone. Invisible Buffy: What are you talking ab- Spike: The only reason you're here, is that you're not here. Invisible Buffy: You know, I didn't ask for this to happen to me. Spike: Not too put off by it though, are you? (drinking) Invisible Buffy: No! Maybe because for the first time since...I'm free. Free of rules and reports...free of this life. Spike: Free of life? Got another name for that. Dead. Invisible Buffy: Why do you always have to...I thought we were having fun. Spike: Yeah, now! But sooner or later your chums are gonna work out a way to bring you back to living color. You need to go. Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off. 'Cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather...Okay, that's cheating. Invisible Buffy: I don't believe this. He threw me out? He threw me. Did I, like, fall into some... backward dimension here? Is this Bizarro World? And after he's always going on and on about being the only one that understands me. "We're alike, you and me. Birds of a bloody feather." Dawn: Buffy? W-where are you? Invisible Buffy: I'm invisible. Check this out. Wooo, wooo! Unidentified flying pizza, comin' in for a landing. Dawn: W-what are you talking- Invisible Buffy: Okay, not the most clever ad lib, but come on! Points for spontaneity. Dawn: Stop it! Just...stop. Invisible Buffy: Sorry Dawn. I'm, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to freak you out. Dawn: Well, what did you think would happen? You're freaking invisible, Buffy. Dawn: I can't talk to you like this. I can't see you! How can I talk to you if I can't see you? Xander: Buffy, it's Xander. Where are you? Listen...we got a new problem here. Anya: Tell her! Xander: I'm trying to. Anya and I think whatever made you invisible is slowly killing you. Anya: Tell her about the pudding! Xander: Anya! Buff, if we don't...if this isn't reversed, you're gonna...well, dissolve, or...fade...into nothing. Invisible Buffy: Wow. Willow: Hey! Let go of me! Invisible Warren: Congratulations. You're our first hostage. Invisible Buffy: Xander? Jonathan: Don't talk. Just listen, Slayer. You don't have a lot of time. Invisible Buffy: Who is this? You sound familiar. Jonathan: I'm...nobody. No one you know. We've got your friend Willow, and if you don't want anything nasty to happen to her, you better meet us. Alone. Willow: He's bluffing, Buffy, there, there's just three of them, I think. Invisible Warren: More than enough to cause some serious carnage, right guys? Guys? Guys! Invisible Jonathan: Kick! Use the kick! Invisible Andrew: I tried that, he keeps blocking it with his drunken monkey fist! Invisible Buffy: Ooh, scary video carnage. Invisible Warren: Hey! Slayer's here. Invisible Andrew: Sorry, didn't see her. Willow: They're the ones from your mystery van. Invisible Buffy: Oh. You. So what annoying thing are you gonna do to me now? Invisible Warren: Okay, now hold still, and all your troubles will soon be gone. Willow: You're on the wrong setting! Invisible Warren: What? Willow: The gun, it's not set for reversing the particle ionization. It'll accelerate her molecular dissolution, I saw the plans! Invisible Warren: Mind your own business. Invisible Jonathan: What's she talking about? Invisible Buffy: That's what I'd like to know. Willow: Buffy, he's trying to kill you! Invisible Buffy: Okay, play time's over. Invisible Warren: You haven't won yet, Slayer. Invisible Buffy: No, that part comes after I beat the snot out of you. Invisible Warren: You'll have to find me first! There's three of us, against just one of you. Invisible Jonathan: Hey, you lied to us! Invisible Andrew: Fight her yourself! Buffy: So you three have, what, banded together to be pains in my ass? Warren: We're your arch-nemesises...ses. You may have beaten us this time, Slayer, but next time... um...uh, next time... Jonathan: Maybe not! Warren: What do you mean, it's locked? You were supposed to check it! Andrew: I forgot! Buffy: I give you my arch nemesises...ses. Willow: Oh my god, Buffy! Buffy: I know, they're gone. I guess we should chase them. Willow: No, your hair! It is adorable. Willow: I don't know how I got through this day. Buffy: Well, the important thing is that you did. It's a...good first step. Willow: How are you doing, post-invisibleness? Buffy: Okay. I still have to do some damage control from my giddy-fest. Dawn was pretty freaked out. The whole taking-a-vacation-from-me thing didn't work out so well. Buffy: Except...when I got Xander's message...you know, that I was...fading away...I actually got scared. Willow: Well, yeah. Who wouldn't? Buffy: Me. I wouldn't. Not too long ago I probably would have welcomed it. But I realized... I'm not saying that I'm doing back-flips about my life, but...I didn't...I don't...wanna die. That's something, right? Willow: It's something. Willow: So I guess we both made good first steps. Buffy: I guess. Willow: Yay for us. Buffy: Yay. prev episode next episode