line decor
  
line decor
 
 
 
 
Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S6/Ep9 (109)
"Smashed"

previous
prev episode
next episode
next
Buffy: Wow. A mugging. Haven't gotten one of those in a while. Usually it's blood, and with the horror...just a good old-fashioned mugging. Kinda sweet actually.
Buffy: What the hell are you doing?
Spike: I thought they were demons.
Buffy: Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher.
Spike: Remind me not to help you.
Buffy: More often?
Buffy: Well, that's what you get for attacking a human.
Spike: Yeah. You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so I could attack criminals and that sort.
Buffy: Spike...it's late, okay, can we just finish this another time?
Spike: Oh, so you wanna jump right to the kissing then, eh?
Spike: You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fellow's motor revving, let the tension marinate a couple-a days, then bam! Crown yourself the ice queen.
Buffy: Need a few more metaphors for that little mix?
Spike: It's only a matter of time before you realize I'm the only one here for you, pet. You got no one else!
Willow: What's the matter, Amy? You lonely? Oh, we need to get you a nice companion rat that you can love...play with...and grow attached to, until one day they leave you for no good reason.
Willow: Won't that be fun? Relax, Amy. I'm just kiddin'. I swear, if I could figure out how to turn you back...Any way...Revele!...'Cio che fu non e piu. Cio che fu fatto disfa. Passato e il pericolo, finita e la prova. Metti le cosa a posto.
Warren: Dude, what are you doing?
Jonathan: We're not breaking into Langley here. It's Sunnydale.
Andrew: Well, you never know what new stuff they have, better safe than-
Warren: Okay, the security system here is a guy named Rusty.
Andrew: See, that's cool. How come he gets to play with all the cool stuff?
Jonathan: Because I'm allergic to methane and you're still afraid of hot things?
Andrew: I know.
Jonathan: Besides, the tank kept making both of us tip over, remember?
Rusty: Museum closed five hours ago.
Warren: Really?
Rusty: Uh-huh.
Warren: Huh! Guess we just lost track of time, we should probably get the freeze ray out of here now.
Warren: Oh, he'll be fine. Yeah, he'll defrost in a couple of days, no harm, no foul.
Andrew: Won't he tell on us?
Warren: And say what? 'Two guys and a mime took me out with their freeze ray'? That's likely.
Willow: It's, it's just a siren. It's o-it's all right. Okay? You okay?
Amy: Mm-hm. Yeah. Just...you know. Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like...I felt like I was in that cage for weeks. But it can still be okay...right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry
would ask me. We would make such a splash at—Oh. Oh god. He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Willow: Uh, Amy...three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's...kinda over.
Buffy: Hey. How you doin'?
Willow: Oh. Uh...okay.
Buffy: Yeah?
Willow: Yeah. Not parades and cotton candy, but...okay.
Amy: The whole school? By a giant snake thing. Okay, still adjusting. Hi Buffy.
Buffy: Hi. How've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.
Willow: So, w-what were you gonna tell me? You were sounding all serious.
Buffy: Huh? Oh. Uh, it's nothing. I mean, the whole Amy, rat, Amy thing...no way I'm toppin' that.
Amy: It's crazy, all the things that've happened since I went away.
Buffy: No kidding.
Amy: Snyder got eaten by a snake...high school got destroyed...
Buffy: Oh, Gatorade has a new flavor. Blue.
Amy: See? Head spinning. People getting frozen...Willow's dating girls... and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?!
Spike: Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up.
Buffy: What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Well, you know, a man was frozen alive in there. A little compassion, luv.
Spike: Uh, you know, as long as we're both here, you might as well tag along. I mean, as a team we could-
Buffy: Yeah, that never really ends well, does it?
Buffy: Look. I'm sorry, okay? I'm-I'm sorry if you thought that it meant more.
Spike: But...
Buffy: But...when I kissed you...you know I was thinking about Giles, right?
Spike: You know, I always wondered about you two.
Spike: A man can change.
Buffy: You're not a man. You're a thing.
Spike: That's right, you should scream. Creature of the night here, yeah? Some people forget that.
Spike: She thinks I'm housebroken. She forgot who she's dealing with.
Woman: Anything you want, please-
Spike: Just 'cause she's confused about where she fits in, I'm supposed to be too? 'Cause I'm not. I know what I am. I'm dangerous. I'm evil.
Woman: I-I'm sure you're not evil.
Spike: Yes, I am. I am a killer. That's what I do. I kill. And, yeah, maybe it's been a long time, but...it's not like you forget how.
Tara: Good god, that's a lot of shake. I mean, I know, part of ou..big...movie and milkshake fun day, but...good god, that's a lot of shake.
Dawn: Helps to wash down the Raisinettes.
Tara: Promise me that you will eat something green tonight. Leafy green, not...gummi green.
Tara: The movie was fun.
Dawn: Yeah. It was ironic when all those cute inner-city kids taught their coach a valuable lesson.
Tara: You know that I will always be there for you, right?...There, there was actually more of a lead-in when I practiced that at home.
Willow: Here. Says the guard's definitely gonna live.
Xander: He's all thawed out, says they used hair-dryers. Huh.
Anya: It's such a pain. The text I wanted, Giles took it with him. He has this thing that...owning a book makes it like his property.
Buffy: What should we do, should we call him? It's like the middle of last night there. Or maybe it's tomorrow. Anyone remember how that works?
Xander: All right, back to basics. A little old-fashioned state-of-the-art hacker action.
Willow: A diamond was stolen from the museum last night. A big one. On loan from the British museum. They're withholding information to smoke out the criminals. Oh! It's pretty. There's a picture.
Buffy: Well, is it a, a supernatural diamond? You know, like, healing powers, or, or good-lucky?
Anya: Maybe it's cursed. Diamonds are excellent for cursing.
Willow: Guys, I'm fine. What's the deal with-
Anya: Oh, for crying out loud. This is bizarre. You're all, 'la la la!' with, with the magic, and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up and left you and now everyone's scared to say anything to you. Except me. Is this that thing I do that you were commenting-
Jonathan: I didn't know it'd be so sparkly.
Andrew: It's so big.
Warren: Yes, gentlemen, it turns out, size is everything. No offense, man.
Spike: Knock knock, robot boy. Need you to look at my chip.
Jonathan: Is that like, British slang or something? 'Cause we're not-
Spike: In my head, the chip in my head.
Warren: We're kind of in the middle of something.
Spike: Well, you can play holodeck another time. Right now, I'm in charge.
Spike: Examine my chip, or else Mister...Fett here is the first to die.
Jonathan: Hey, all right, let's not, let's not do anything crazy here.
Andrew: That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett.
Spike: What I want...is answers, nimrod.
Warren: Right. But you don't wanna hurt the Fett, 'cause man, you're not comin' back from that. You know, you don't just do that and walk away.
Andrew: Dudes, I think that's Spike.
Jonathan: Of course it is, and he's evil. Completely capable of removing that head.
Warren: I think we can work something out. I'll take a look at your chip. It'll be a deal. We scratch your back, you scratch-
Spike: I'm not scratching your anything. You do what I tell you, that's the deal. Deal?
Warren: Deal.
Amy: I wish there was a way that I could make him forget about the last three years.
Willow: Oh, well hey, I can help you with that. Only, you might wanna sew your name into your clothes first or something.
Willow: Oh, well, what do you wanna do?
Amy: I don't know. Something fun. Anything...not involving a big wheel. Or...maybe...you'd rather sit home all night, alone, like in high school.
Willow: No! No, you know what? I can have fun. Heck, I, I deserve some fun.
Amy: Yeah you do!
Willow: I can party! Not like I owe anyone anything. I am totally free. So, let's make with the fun.
Andew: You're English, right?
Spike: Yeah.
Andew: I've seen every episode of Doctor Who. Not Red Dwarf, though, 'cause, um...
Jonathan: 'Cause it's not out yet on DVD.
Andew: Right. It's not out on...DVD.
Spike: Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.
Warren: Okay, right, um...your chip works fine, yeah.
Warren: I don't know what that thing does...I'd like to...
Spike: Hey.
Warren: But whatever it is, it works fine. There's no deterioration of the signal, it still is coming through on a steady pulse. Which it's supposed to.
Spike: You tell anyone about this...
Warren: No, I promise. Who would I tell, I don't even know what this is about!
Spike: It's about the rules having changed. Everything's different now. Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with her.
Willow: I know. Xander engaged, I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: It's just so weird. So what's she like?
Willow: Thousand-year-old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.
Willow: No use looking at me like that. It's the gullet for you, mister.
Amy: You know...if rats could dance...they probably wouldn't gnaw so much.
Xander: Aha! I got it! Uh, here's our villain right here! What?
Anya: That's a D&D manual, sweetie.
Xander: No, but it could...Oh.
Anya: Let's face it, we're not gonna find this thing because it doesn't exist. There's no such thing as a frost monster who eats diamonds.
Buffy: Well, maybe he doesn't eat them. You know, maybe he just...thinks they're pretty.
Buffy: We suck.
Xander: We need new brains.
Xander: Tara thinks Willow is doing too much magic. And she's not the only one.
Buffy: I know. But I-I think she'll be fine. You know, it's, it's Willow. She of the level head.
Anya: Well, those are the ones you have to watch out for the most. Responsible types.
Buffy: Right, she might go crazy and start alphabetizing everything.
Anya: I'm serious. Responsible people are...always so concerned with...being good all the time, that when they finally get a taste of being bad...they can't get enough. It's like all...kablooey.
Buffy: That's not true.
Anya: Okay, not kablooey, more like bam.
Xander: We need to keep an eye on her.
Buffy: Okay. Okay, we'll, we'll keep an eye. But we can't assume that everybody's getting seduced, you know, sometimes-
Spike: Slayer.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Meet me at the cemetery. Twenty minutes. Come alone.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Bloody hell. Yes, it's me.
Buffy: You're...calling me on the phone?
Spike: Just be there.
Buffy: Why? Are you...helping again? You have a lead on this frost monster thingie?
Spike: Something like that, yeah. Thought you might be up for a little grunt work.
Buffy: What?! No, no-no grunting!
Spike: I was talking shop, luv, but if you got other ideas...you, me, cozy little tomb with a view...
Xander: So, what did Captain Peroxide want?
Buffy: Nothing! You know, he just, you know, wanted to see if I-I wanted to patrol, for, for the, the monster. But I, I told him that I...would...not.
Buffy: I'm telling you, I, I think there's something about this thing.
Xander: Well, I don't know, Buff. It seems like we've been through every book.
Anya: Yeah, even the ones that weren't so boring you wanted to kill yourself.
Xander: We have those?
Buffy: I'm just saying, all the things that have happened lately? Okay, the, the bank robbery, the jewelry heist...
Xander: The exploding lint.
Buffy: I-is it me, or do these things seem really-
Anya: Lame?
Buffy: Well, I was gonna go with unusual, but, yeah.
Spike: You shouldn't be so flip, luv.
Buffy: What are you gonna do, walk behind me to death?
Spike: I'm just saying things might be a little different.
Spike: Guess what I just found out. Looks like I'm not as toothless as you thought, sweetheart.
Buffy: How?
Spike: Don't you get it? Don't you see? You came back wrong.
Buffy: It's a trick. You did something to the chip, it's a trick.
Spike: It's no trick. It's not me, it's you. Just you, in fact, that's the funny part. 'Cause you're the one that's changed. That's why this doesn't hurt me. Came back a little less human than you were.
Spike: Oh, poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love.
Buffy: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in? Your job is to kill the slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes.
Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me...because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?
Spike: Hello! Vampire! I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?
Willow: So, we've kinda played this scene.
Amy: Yeah.
Willow: Return.
Willow: I, I just keep thinking...there's gotta be someplace, like, bigger than this.
Amy: Besides, it's way too early to go home yet.
Spike: I wasn't planning on hurting you...Much.
Buffy: You haven't even come close to hurting me.
Spike: Afraid to give me the chance?
previous
prev episode
next episode
next