Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S6/Ep1 (101) "Bargaining, Part 1"
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Spike: Come on! I'm never gonna get anything killed with you lot holding me back. Tara:I thought the big ones were supposed to tire more easily. Spike: No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers. Giles:I'm fine. I just need to...to die for a minute.
Buffy Bot: Big, fast, and dumb. Just the way I like 'em.
Buffy Bot:That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Spike:What's with the Dadaism, Red? Tara: Yeah, she says that pie thing every time she stakes a vamp now. Willow: I-I don't know, I was trying to program in some new puns and I kinda ended up with word salad. Buffy Bot: I think it's funny. Willow: It's a glitch, I'll fix it. Giles: We just can't have her messing up in front of the wrong person. Or the wrong thing. We, we need the, the world and the underworld to believe that Buffy is alive and well. Willow: And I will therefore fix it. I got her head back on, didn't I? And I got her off those knock-knock jokes. Buffy Bot: Ooh, who's there? Xander: You know, if we want her to be exactly- Spike: She'll never be exactly. Xander: I know. Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy. Giles: And she's gone. Buffy Bot: 'If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Xander: House of chicks, relax. I am a man, and I have a tool. Tools. Lots of plural tools. In my, uh...toolbox. Ah! Sandwiches. Excellent. Men like sandwiches.
Anya: Are you mad at me? Giles: Mad? No, I'm-I'm- Anya: Well then why are you torturing me? You know, I used to punish people like this when I was a demon. I made them double-check spreadsheets for all eternity.
Tara: You found the last known urn of Osiris on eBay? Anya: Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited edition Backstreet Boys lunchbox for a...(Xander coughs. Anya pauses. Xander looks nervous.)...a friend.
Xander: This is deep stuff, Willow. We're talking about raising the dead. Willow: It's time we stop talking. Tomorrow night...we're bringing Buffy back.
Xander: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group? Anya: You did. Tara: You said Willow should be boss. Anya: And then you said "let's vote," and it was unanimous... Tara: ...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us," you put little sparkles on it... Xander: Valid points, all. But we...I mean...We were just talking then. Willow: Xander, I can do this, I promise. But not without you.
Anya: Zombies don't eat brains anyway unless instructed to by their zombie masters. A lot of people get that wrong.
Buffy Bot: Sorry I questioned you, Spike. You know I admire your brain almost as much as your washboard abs.
Anya: Well, I just think that, the concept of chi might be a little, you know, hard for her to grasp. You know, she's not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors. She's the descendant of a toaster oven.
Anya: Well, it must be something pretty intense. The black market's all baby teeth and spooky fluids.
Anya: Y-you wanna look at the money? I find it always calms me.
Willow: Osiris! Here lies the warrior of the people. Let her cross over.
Razor: Slayer. I've been hearing interesting things about you. Buffy Bot: Yes. I am interesting. (looks around) These your friends? Razor: They're my boys, yeah. BuffyBot: Good. Now tell them to get back on their loud bicycles and go back wherever they came from. Razor: Or what? You'll electrocute us?
Razor: You're nothing but a toy. A pretty toy. Wanna play?
Xander: I'm pretty sure she's okay. Or as okay as someone who just had snakes coming out of her mouth.
Tara: Doesn't sound like they found Willow or Xander Anya: Did he say stores? Hitting stores? Does that mean looting? Tara: I think, I think the woods let out over this way. We should keep off the streets—take alleys if we can. Anya: They can't loot The Magic Box–not now! I just got it!
Spike: Dawn, I get that you're scared. But I'm your sitter, so mind me. I'm not gonna let any of those bugger lay so much as a warty digit on you. Right? Dawn: Right. Spike: Right, then. We can't wait around to see if the others wll pop in. We're on our own. No one's coming to our resue.
