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Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S5/Ep4 (82)
"Out of My Mind"

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Buffy: Spike, what are you doing here?
Spike: Same thing as you and your Cub Scout here, I'll wager. A spot of violence before bedtime.
Buffy: Better keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not gonna take this much longer.
Spike: And I should do what in my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?
Buffy: Would it keep you out of my way?
Riley: She's right. You shouldn't be out here when she's patrolling.
Spike: Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy's entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow.
Buffy: Spike...I just saw you taste your own nose blood, you know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
Riley: Hey, hope I didn't get in the way.
Buffy: Of course not. I-I was just...startled. And, you know I don't...love the idea of you patrolling alone.
Riley: Not much for bench-warming.
Buffy: No, you made the squad. You...threw that vampire like he was a...teeny-weeny little vampire.
Riley: Hey, wanna go again? Come on, I bet this place is just teeming with aerodynamic vampires.
Buffy: Nah. Unless you wanna go back and kill Spike for the fun of it?
Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice...and drink deep.
Willow: You can't possibly be arguing that Marat didn't betray the French Revolutionaries. This was the guy who declared the rights of man, and then the next thing you know he's... killing Girondin like it's going out of style.
Buffy: Will, you're totally missing my point. Now, I agree that Marat wasn't a real martyr, but the death in the tub...the neck wound, all that blood, just a little more fang-y than knife-y. I mean, Charlotte Corday wasn't a real martyr either, but...
Willow: Buffy!
Buffy: What?
Willow: Listen to us! We-we're arguing! We're having a debate about a college lecture! I have dreamt of this day since...forever! You are turning into quite the student. Should I be watching my occipital lobe?
Buffy: Your what?
Willow: Occipital. (pointing to her head) The lobe in the back of your brain. You know, like "should I be watching my back?" But, you know, the...back of your brain.
Buffy: Apparently not. Don't worry, Will, you still wear the smarty-pants in the family.
Buffy: I'm starting to think this working hard is hard work.
Willow: Isn't it crazy like that?
Buffy: I thought it was gonna be like in the movies. You know, inspirational music...a montage, me sharpening my pencils, me reading, writing, falling asleep on a big pile of books with my glasses all crooked, 'cause in my montage I have glasses. But real life is slow, and it's starting to hurt my occipital lobe.
Willow: Aw. Poor Buffy's brain.
Giles: It seems the plans worked perfectly.
Xander: Yes, blueprints, not a bad idea. That, and getting straight "measure twice, cut once." You know, for the longest time I had it backwards. Mess-y!
Anya: Oh! Who put the monkey heads near the Styx water? Do we want to pick exploded monkey out of our hair?
Willow: Hey! Oh, wow, this place looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop. Ooh... Are these real newt eyes?
Giles: No, too...rich for my blood, I'm afraid. No, these are salamander eyes, it's the...cataracts which give them their newt-like appearance. They're really equally effective, though, it's...just a matter of overcoming snobberies.
Xander: I'm telling you Giles. You gotta set up a blind taste test and prove once and for all that generic amphibian eyeballs are just as good.
Willow: I don't know. If you ask me, the newt name still means something.
Giles: You ready to train?
Buffy: You betcha.
Giles: Shall we then?
Buffy: We shall then.
Tara: I just...keep thinking how cool it would be, if we got a real psychic to sit up here and read fortunes and stuff.
Willow: You should do it.
Tara: Not me. But, but I'd love to, to watch and learn. From someone who's really good, you know?
Buffy: Oh my god. Look at this place! Thank you. Thank you...so much.
Giles: It's just a start, you need a proper space to train, so-
Buffy: I love it.
Buffy: It must have been so much work.
Xander: I'm the dummy man. I mean, I...made the dummy. The thing that you hit that doesn't hit back. That, I made.
Buffy: It's great. I-it's all great.
Giles: Well, you've earned it. Truly.
Buffy: Thank you guys so much. You're like my...fairy godmother and Santa Claus and Qall wrapped up into one...Q from Bond, not Star Trek.
Spike: Oh Pacey, you blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?
Harmony: Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now...with a stake! She won't give up until she's killed me to death!
Spike: Buffy's looking for you.
Harmony: Of course! That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally her arch-nemesis!
Spike: Is that right. I must have missed the memo.
Harmony: There was a mem-? Spike, oh my god! This is like a real emergency! Uhh!
Harmony: Come on, Spike. Pretty please? I'll do anything!
Spike: Anything, will you?
Harmony: Yeah! I said I'll do anything...Ohhhh. You mean will I have sex with you? Well, yeah.
Spike: Taking up smoking, are you?
Harmony: I am a villain, Spike, hellooooo.
Spike: I guess you are at that. What with the slayer on your tail and all.
Spike: She's not the type to give up, either. She'll hunt you down, day and night, till you're too tired and too hungry to run any more. And then? Then...that is you. I guess you're gonna have to kill her.
Harmony: I tried! It was all hard and stuff! You do it.
Spike: I'd love to. But, I can't. Remember? I've got this cute little government chip in my head.
Harmony: Oh, right. Guess it'll have to be me after all. Can you help with the thinking?
Spike: Yeah. I suppose I could do that.
Joyce: Oh, what is the...Who are you?
Buffy: Hey. How's Mom? Are you okay? (Hugs Dawn)
Dawn: I'm okay.
Ben: And your mom's doing just fine.
Dawn: This is Ben. He gave me his stethoscope.
Ben: Lent you his stethoscope. Buffy, right? I'm Ben, I'm an intern here. I've had the pleasure of hanging out with the renowned Dr. Dawn here while your mom's being tested.
Ben: Well, I think they'll be running tests for a few more hours...then they'll probably want her to come back for some follow-up tests in a couple weeks, but it really doesn't look like anything too serious.
Doctor: I know I'm repeating myself here, but I don't know what else to say to convince you. I have never in all my years of medicine let a patient with tachycardia this severe leave a hospital.
Riley: You said you couldn't keep me.
Doctor: Legally, no, I can't force you to do a thing. But with that pulse, believe me, I'd get on my knees and beg you if I thought I could change your mind.
Riley: You can't. I'm going home.
Doctor: And your friend here can't convince you to—
Riley: I'm going.
Buffy: What's going on? What are you doing? What if you have a heart attack?
Riley: Listen to me. Calm down.
Buffy: *Me* calm down? I'm not the one with a pulse of a hundred and fifty.
Riley: My heart's different than yours, Buffy. It works differently now, but it's okay.
Buffy:: But you're still a human, Riley. You could still have a heart attack.
Riley: I'm a human who was used as a lab rat for months.
Buffy: Hey. How are you?
Joyce: Oh, embarrassed, mostly. I'm sorry to put you through this. But, no more tests, so you can take this pincushion home.
Dawn: I like chicken fingers with mustard when I'm sick.
Joyce: I know you do, sweetie. I can make us some later.
Buffy: Oh, uh-uh. You are sitting right here on this couch today.
Joyce: I feel silly lying here like a lump!
Willow: You could make a game out of it. A-a very quiet game, about being a lump.
Buffy: I don't get what he's thinking. Why isn't he worried?
Willow: Maybe he thinks his body can handle it. He is in really good shape.
Buffy: Nobody's body can handle a heart attack.
Willow: I know. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm trying too hard to make it okay.
Buffy: I just keep coming back to the Initiative.
Willow: Call the Initiative. If they know what's wrong with him, they have to help.
Buffy: Yeah, but call them how? First of all, they don't exist any more, and secondly, they never claimed to exist in the first place.
Willow: There has to be a way.
Buffy: Like what? Take a tour of the White House and pretend to get lost, and look for some door with a sign on it that says "Secret Government Monster Hunters"?
Dawn: If they're really spying on you all the time, you just say something so you know they'll hear you. Like sometimes, I write fake things in my diary in case...
Graham: What's goin' on, man? You gotta get this taken care of immediately. We gotta get you into an operating room.
Riley: Very convincing. Makes me completely wanna put myself under government control. Please take me where they can make me unconscious and naked.
Graham: Hey, you think I'd pull something on you?
Riley: You're still in. I'm out. I don't know what orders you're following.
Graham: Oh, come on. You know Walsh pumped all those chemicals and crap into us. You got more than anyone. She messed us up bad.
Riley: And now the government's knocking themselves out to kiss it and make it better.
Graham: Riley, I'm tellin' you, you need help. I'm not saying it to trick you.
Graham: Yeah. We got a guy, a doctor. He's gonna take care of you, and we're going to him now. I'm not givin' you a choice.
Riley: I guess you're not.
Buffy: So you messed up and now he's gone and when are you even gonna tell me what's wrong with him?
Graham: I'm not permitted to say.
Buffy: Say.
Graham: Hyperadrenal overload and a bunch of stuff that sounds even worse than that, and all it means is he's way stronger than he oughta be and feeling no pain. His heart can't take it. We've been at him for weeks about it.
Graham: There's a specialist waiting at Sunnydale General, fourth floor neurology. Get Riley there. If you don't-
Buffy: I'll get him there.
Graham: I'll tell the doc.
Graham: Buffy.
Buffy: If you tell me to hurry...I'll kick your ass.
Giles: Could he have simply gone back to his apartment?
Buffy: No, he's not at his apartment, he's not at the gym, he's not at the library...he's gone somewhere where he doesn't wanna be found.
Anya: So basically he's gone AWOL.
Buffy: Basically exactly.
Xander: Maybe he just needs some time alone. Like, I had this friend once, who really liked this girl, and...he got all worried that maybe she didn't like him back...and maybe that made him act like a total jerk. Maybe Riley reminds me of that friend.
Buffy: Well, here's a hot tip, if you want attention? Be there so people can give it to you.
Anya: I care about you, Xander.
Xander: Thanks.
Anya: Don't be insecure.
Willow: Tara and I can scope out the burned-out school. Riley hid there once. Maybe he... feels it's homey or something.
Buffy: Homey...You know what else he might find homey in a...dank, unpleasant evil sort of way? The Initiative caves. I don't know them too well.
Giles: We do have an associate who knows those caves like the back of his...melanin-deprived hand.
Buffy: I so don't want to deal with Spike right now. That guy is really starting to bug me in that special "I wanna shove something wooden through his heart" kinda way.
Willow: He does seem extra twitchy lately. Maybe the whole not killing is gettin' to him.
Buffy: Plus hanging out all day in that moldy crypt, you just know he's doing something nasty.
Spike: Okay, is it bigger than a breadbox?
Harmony: No. Four left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: No! Only three!
Spike: Harmony...is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh my god! Someone's blondie bear is a twenty-question genius!
Buffy: I've got a proposition for you.
Spike: Funny, I've got a proposition for you, what about knocking? Seems only fair since we vamps can't enter your flat without an invite, you could at least—Say, look at those pretty pieces of paper.
Buffy: Riley's sick with some Initiative thing and he's missing. I think he might be in the caves. You find him, bring him to the fourth floor of the hospital, their doctors get to him in time...you get the cash.
Graham: That's soon enough, right? I mean, if we bring him in now?
Dr. Overheiser: I'll be honest. I'm not sure it's soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.
Spike: You got yourself a new patient, doc.
Spike: Little performance anxiety, eh doc? Butterflies in the old belly? Harm, do us a favor. Shoot the nasty butterflies for the good doctor. There you go. It's not so complicated. Just do whatever those Initiative lab monkeys did, only backwards.
Dr. Overheiser: This is a medical school, not a proper operating facility, these instruments...
Spike: They look pointy enough. They'll do.
Dr. Overheiser: You're not listening. That chip is deeply imbedded in your cerebral cortex. Removing it could leave you a vegetable.
Spike: That's not gonna happen, mate. See, I have faith in your survival instinct.
Tara: This place kinda creeps me out.
Willow: You shoulda been here when it was a school.
Tara: How'd you do that? With the light?
Willow: Oh, you know. You taught me.
Tara: I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.
Willow: Okay, so I...tinkered with the Tinkerbell. It was easy. And besides, isn't this better than...using a flashlight like some kind of doofus?
Buffy: This stops now. I'm taking you to the doctor.
Riley: The one from the government, you mean? Like the ones who did this to me in the first place?
Buffy: He's the only one that understands what's wrong with you. He's the only one that can help.
Riley: What's wrong with me? I'm more powerful than I've ever been, Buffy. Most people would kill to feel this way.
Buffy: Yeah, and this feeling is going to kill you. Riley, your body was not built for this kind of strength-
Riley: I can handle it. This is my deal, Buffy, just...back off
Riley: I go back...let the government get whimsical with my innards again...They could do anything that- Best-case scenario, they turn me into Joe Normal, just...Just another guy.
Buffy: And that's not enough for you?
Riley: It's not enough for you.
Riley: Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn't exactly a civilian.
Buffy: So that's what this is about? You're going to die, all over some macho pissing contest.
Buffy: So you have this all figured out? I'm bailing because you're not in the super club.
Riley: It's human nature.
Buffy: Don't Psych 101 me. Not now. Not after everything that...Nobody has ever known me the way you do. Nobody. I've opened up to you in ways that I've never opened up to...God, you're just sitting back there thinking that none of this means anything to me.
Buffy: Do you think that I spent the last year with you because you had super powers? If that's what I wanted, then I'd be dating Spike. Riley, I need you. I need you with me...and I need you healthy. But if you wanna throw it all away because you don't trust me, then...then I'm still gonna make you go to that doctor.
Riley: Loving you is the scariest thing I've ever done, Buffy.
Buffy: I don't know why.
Harmony: I read in a magazine that some women think a man's real sex organ is his brain. Yecch! No contest. I mean, look at it. It's so...pink and wriggly-looking. Can I touch it?
Spike/Dr. Overheiser: (unison) No!
Harmony: Oh my god, you're awake?
Dr. Overheiser: Local anesthetic.
Harmony: Wow, Spikey, how does it feel?
Spike: Like someone's cutting into my brain with a knife, you silly bint.
Harmony: You know what it means that he can't hurt any living thing? It means he can't even pick flowers.
Spike: What? Yes I can!
Dr. Overheiser: Please. For god's sake, please, be quiet.
Harmony: Listen, buster. I don't see a crossbow in your hands, okay?
Spike: Harmony, if your incessant prattling bolloxes up this operation, I'm gonna personally yank out your pink and wriggly tongue.
Riley: Graham. Graham. How many fingers I got?
Graham: Seventeen...Hostile 17 and a blonde girl.
Buffy: Spike and Harmony, together again.
Giles: Where's Dr. Overheiser?
Buffy: Uh, Spike must have taken him. What would Spike want with— The chip. He's gonna force the doctor to remove the chip from his brain.
Buffy: You are not going to die.
Riley: Bet you say that to all the boys.
Buffy: No. There is one peroxided pest whose number is up. When I get my hands on Spike, I'm gonna rip his head off, I'm gonna...
Spike: ...bathe in the slayer's blood. Gonna dive in it. Swim in it. I'm gonna do the bloody backstroke.
Harmony: I see it, Spikey! I see the chip! It's nestled in there like...a pretty little Easter egg with your brain all around it like that green plastic grassy stuff...only this is more a beige, like-
Dr Overheiser: Would you please put out that cigarette? It's really not allowed.
Harmony: Oh yeah? Says who?...Oh god, sorry! Didn't see the sign!
Dr Overheiser: The chip's out. Didn't think I could do it, I just...it's out.
Spike: Yeah?
Harmony: Yay! Yay for Spikey!
Spike: Right then. Stitch me up, doc. Got places to go. And slayers to kill.
Spike: Buffy. I swear I was just thinking of you. I wanted to tell you the great news. My head's all clear now. No more bug-zapper in my noggin.
Buffy: That means I get to kill you.
Spike: You get to try.
Spike: A penny?
Dr Overheiser: I told you I couldn't do it.
Spike: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn, she's there! That nasty little face, that... bouncing shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
Harmony: Well, aren't we kinda unholy, by the-
Spike: She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture.
Buffy: How's it goin' in there?
Riley: Good. Back to normal.
Buffy: Yep.
Buffy: And see...I'm still touchable.
Riley: Give me a week or so to heal, and...I'll take full advantage of that fact.
Graham: It's a good thing Buffy found you when she did, 'cause you were about to detonate big-time. Always said she's pretty impressive.
Riley: You know, she really is.
Graham: But you know you don't belong here, right? This town? I mean, you're nothin' here.
Riley: Hey. What are you saying?
Graham: Come on, man. You know it's true. There's nothing for you here.
Riley: There's her.
Graham: Okay, right, there's her. And? You used to have a mission, and now you're what? The mission's boyfriend? Mission's true love?
Buffy: Spike, you're a killer. And I shoulda done this years ago.
Spike: You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.
Buffy: What?
Spike: End...my...torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around. Take me...out of a world...that has you in it! Just kill me!
Buffy: Spike ... I want you.
Spike: Buffy, I love you.
Buffy: God, I love you so much.
Spike: (waking up) Oh, god, no...Please, no.
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