faith | hope | trick ... quotes: BTVS S4/Ep12 (68)

Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S4/Ep12 (68)
"A New Man"

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Willow: We got trouble. Buffy: What is it? Willow: I was in the rec room. It came through the window. Riley: Vampire? Willow: Vampires don't breathe fire.
Buffy: We have to make this fast. I have better things to do tonight than kill. Everybody: SURPRISE!!! Willow: Guess you won't be killing anything tonight, after all. Buffy: Don't be so sure.
Giles: Yeah, this is a lively space. It's like the activity room we had at public school. Sorry...I, uh, one time I, uh, I was up to a little bit of a prank with the dart board-- Anya: I'm bored. Let's eat. Xander: Anya, we've talked about this. Anya: I'm sorry, that was rude. Please continue your story. Hopefully it involves treacle and a headmaster. Giles: Go and eat.
Willow: Giles! Hi. Are you having a good time? Giles: Yes. Yes. There's, uh, a lot of new faces here, aren't there? Willow: Yeah. Mostly kids from the dorm. A couple of Riley's friends.
Buffy: There's somebody here I want you to meet. Uh, this is Riley Finn...my boyfriend. Riley: It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Giles. Did you help plan this? It was quite a surprise. Giles: The first of many. Uh, been...dating long? Buffy: Giles was the librarian at my high school. Riley: Ah, I've seen the library. It's gone down hill since you left. Giles: Yes. I-I-I'm embarrassed to say that I actually miss it at times.
Riley: So, you're retired? Giles: I'm sorry? Riley: Or...you're working somewhere else now? Giles: Well, not, uh...sort of between projects, uh, right now, uh, it's a personal--
Buffy: Oh, he's just nervous. But this is so nice. Having everyone together for my birthday. Of course, you could smash in all my toes with a hammer and it will still be the bestest Buffy Birthday Bash in a big long while. Giles: Right. A-a-actually, Willow a-a-and Xander did all the planning. I'm not sure I would have gone with the surprise party. You know, you have enough things jumping out at you in the dark.
Buffy: Professor Walsh says that adrenaline is like exercise but without the exorbitant gym fees. Giles: Very whitty. Buffy: You should meet her. She's absolutely the smartest person I've ever met. Giles: Perhaps we should have invited Professor Walsh to the party? Buffy: Oh, no. I mean, she's like forty. She's got better things to do than hang out with a bunch of kids.
Xander: That's my radio! Spike: And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!
Anya: So, what kind of place are you looking for? Spike: I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Some place, you know, dark and dank. But not as dark and dank as this. Anya: Heh. It's pretty depressing, isn't it? Spike: I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one.
Anya: Wait. I want to give you something for your new place. Xander: That's my lamp. Anya: A gift is traditional. I've read about it. Xander: That's among friends. With bitter enemies we don't give them my lamp.
Spike: It's not gonna have electricity anyway. It's a crypt, remember? Anya: What about running water? A fridge to keep your blood fresh? Spike: No. Anya: Well, that's gotta suck. You should just get a hotel room or something. Spike: Demon girl's got a point. I need fresh blood. If I had a few bob for a room with an honor bar-- Xander: Out! Before I get the Slayer over here to kick your ass out!
Spike: Don't know why she didn't come. Say good-bye, shed a few tears. Xander: Well, she has an appointment with somebody who's actually still scary!
Walsh: So, the Slayer. Buffy: Yeah. That's me. Walsh: We thought you were a myth. Buffy: Well, you were myth-taken. Walsh: And to think all that time you were sitting in my class. Well, most of those times. I always knew you could do better than a B minus. Now I understand your energies were directed in the same places as ours, in fact. It's only our methods that differ. We use the latest in scientific technology and state-of-the-art weaponry and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick. Buffy: Well, it's more effective than it sounds.
Walsh: I'm working on getting you clearance to come into the Initiative. I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here, alone, has killed or captured—how many is it? Riley: Seventeen. Eleven vampires, six demons. Buffy: Oh...Wow. I mean, that's...seventeen. Walsh: What about you? Buffy: Me? Walsh: How many hostiles would you say you've slain?
Giles: "Third new moon after the...nine-hundredth feast of Delthrox." Oh, crap.
Riley: Wow. Buffy: Those are my best stories. And I didn't tell you the "Buffy breaks her butt" stories. Riley: But you've killed a—You did the thing with that—Uh, you drowned. And the snake! Not to mention the...daily...slayage of...Wow. Buffy: It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream! Riley: Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending...I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself...needing to know the plural of "apocalypse."
Buffy: Look. If you've been fighting since you were fifteen you'd have a hefty resume' too. Riley: Fifteen!? Buffy: I know, "wow." The point is, that, that we have different amounts of experience. You know. And plus, I do have that whole preternatural Slayer strength deal. Riley: I've seen. Don't get me wrong. The girls I grew up with could hold their own. But...I'm not even sure I could take you. Buffy: That all depends on your meaning.
Giles: Professor Walsh, I presume. You're hard to find. These—these halls are quite the labyrinth. I felt like Theseusand the Minotaur in the...labyrinth. Walsh: Can I help you with something, Mr...? Giles: Giles. Rupert. I'm looking for Buffy Summers. I'm, uh, a friend of hers. And I was her high school librarian.
Giles: Buffy's been very influenced by your cause. She quotes you quite often. Sometimes she sounds like an introductory textbook herself. Walsh: I don't lecture from the text book. But I'm glad she's inspired by the material. She's bright. All she's really been lacking is encouragement in the academic sect. Giles: Oh, uh, I think it's best if-if...if we let a young person find their own strengths. If you lead a child by the hand then they'll never find their own footing. Walsh: And if it's true about hiking, ergo, it must be true about life.
Giles: I'm just saying Buffy is, uh, well she's not the typical student. Once you get to know her, she's a very unique girl. I hope you're not going to push her. Walsh: I think I do know her. And I have found her to be a unique woman. Giles: Woman. Of course. How wrong of me to choose my own words. Walsh: She's very self-reliant, very independent— Giles: Exactly! Walsh: —which is not always a good thing. I think it can be unhealthy to take on adult roles too early. What I suspect I'm seeing is a reaction to the absence of a male role model. Giles: Absence? Walsh: Buffy clearly lacks a strong father figure...I'm sorry, I have things to do. I'll tell Buffy her friend was looking for her.
Willow: I bet the Initiative took care of it. Giles: Who? Xander: Oh, Riley and his guys. Probably all over it. Willow: Yeah. It has that "too neat" look. They must have cleaned up the place. Giles: What? Willow: Oh, they read hot spots. Areas of otherworldy energy. They must've picked this place up days ago.
Giles: Stop, both of you. Uh, what, uh...What are you talking about? W-what's the Initiative? What...what on Earth does it have to do with Buffy's new boyfriend? Willow: You know. I'm sure you know. Riley's one of the commandos. Giles: What?! Well that's marvelous, isn't it? Here I am, spent weeks trying, uh, t-to get a single scrap of information about our mysterious demon collectors and no one bothers to tell me that Buffy's dating one of them?! Who else knows?! Xander: No one. No one else knows this. Anya, and that's it! Willow: And Spike. Giles: Ssspike?! Spike knew? Xander: Only the basic stuff. You know, that Riley is a commando and Professor Walsh is in charge. Giles: Professor Walsh!? That fishwife!? Willow: You know, she's actually not that bad once you get to—So, th-the demon is probably a little late. W-we'll just, you know-- Giles: Oh, forget it. Go on. You two clear off. I'll just stay a little longer just in case.
Giles: Who am I kidding? Nothing is gonna happen. Ethan: (to himself) I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that at all. In fact, Ripper, old mate, I'd say something rather interesting was about to hap-- Giles: Did someone--? Ethan: Oh, bugger! I thought you'd gone!
Giles: Ethan Rayne. You have no idea how much thrashing you is gonna improve my day.
Giles: Just tell me what you want to tell me. Ethan: Oh, so crass. We used to be friends, Ripper. When did all that fall apart? Giles: The same time you started to worship Chaos. Ethan: Oh, religious intolerance. Sad, there. I mean, just look at the Irish troubles. Oh, hang on, I'll tell ya. Something happening in the darkworlds. It's always been rumors out there but...only one thing's coming through clear...That something's harming demons and it's not the Slayer. Know anything about it? Giles: What are they saying? Ethan: Heh, you know demons. It's all exaggeration and blank verse..."Pain as bright as steel" things like that. They're scared. There's something called "314" that's got them scared most of all. The kind of scared that turns to angry. I know we're not particularly fond of each other, Rupert. But we are a couple of old mystics. This knew outfit, it's blundering into new places it doesn't belong. It's throwing the worlds out of balance. And that's way beyond chaos, mate. We're headed quite literally for one hell of a fight.
Riley: Are you pulling back? Buffy: Are you? Riley: Maybe a little. Buffy: Maybe a little, too. Riley: I'll go all out if you will. Buffy: Are you sure? Riley: Here we go.
Buffy: Riley! Are you hurt? Riley: I, uh, I don't think so. Buffy: I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to, uh-- Riley: It's fine. I'm good.
Giles: You know what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her Nancy-ninja boys come in and six months later, demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me. Ethan: Who's Maggie Walsh? Giles: Oh, she's awful. She said I was an absent male role model. Absent my ass. I'm twice the man she is.
Giles: We gotta face it, we've changed. We'll not you...you're still sadistic and self-centered. Ethan: Here's to me.
Giles: The world has past us by. Someone snuck in and left us a couple of has-beens in our place. This Initiative, I mean, their methods may be causing problems, but they're getting the job done. Where am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head. Ethan: Well, we won't have to worry about that anymore now, mate. When you went to the loo I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink. You'll be dead in an hour. Ethan: Just kidding! Giles: I'm gonna feel like hell in the morning. *Ethan:* Relax. Enjoy the night. We're just a couple of sorcerers. The night is still our time. Time of magic. Giles: To magic.
Willow: I'm glad you wanted to get together. I know it's late. Tara: Thanks. I was happy you called.
Willow: We'll start out slow. Tara: Okay. Tara: Willow? Willow: Yeah? Tara: Start out slow doing what? Willow: Oh. We're gonna float the rose. Then use the majiks to pluck the petals off, one at a time. It's a test of synchronicity. Our minds have to be perfectly attuned to work as a single delicate implement. Tara: Cool. *Willow:* And it should be very pretty.
Tara: It worked. Willow: Now for the hard part. The petals.
Willow: What the heck was that? Tara: I don't know, but, uh, the petals are off.
Giles: I feel like hell in the morning....Uh! Wha—Wha—No! Damn! Ethan. Oh, and I liked that shirt!
Buffy: I like pancakes 'cause they're stackable. Ooo, and waffles 'cause you can put things in the little holes if you wanted to. Willow: You should always have a new boyfriend. You're so much fun right now.
Buffy: Hey. I didn't hear you come in last night. Where were you? Willow: The chem lab, by myself. I-I was trying this new spell; floating a rose, when all of a sudden zing, zing, zing! Like all over the room. It was like a rose-based missile.
Willow: I think there's something out there. I-I felt this presence.. This dark majiks energy blocking the spell. It's new. Buffy: Someone else doing majiks? Willow: Maybe. If so, it's someone pretty powerful. Buffy: Hmm. I'll tell Giles about it. Or maybe I'll tell Maggie. She seemed kind of interested in learning the mystical side of the whole demon hunting biz. Willow: Tell Giles. He's feeling a little hurt right now. How come you never told him about Riley being a commando? Buffy: I did. I didn't? Willow: He says no. He's feeling neglected and out-of-the-loopy. Buffy: Well, I didn't at first because Riley said not to. And...and then "meow" cat out of the bag and I-I guess I just forgot that he didn't know. I'll make it up to him when I see him. Tomorrow. I'm spending today with Riley. Willow: Oh, yeah. I forgot that's what you always do on the days when the Earth rotates.
Buffy: It's just going so well, right now. I think. I hope. I sort of kicked him across the roo last night. Willow: Uh, that's not good. Buffy: Well, we were sparring and he said not to hold back. And he's a little dented. But he said he was okay with it and I think he's okay with it --do-do you think he's okay with it? Willow: I'm sure he is. I mean, if he's not...you know, you had to do it. He's right. You can't walk around pretending you're less than you are. It wouldn't be right for you to hold back. Buffy: Right. Willow: What? Buffy: I held back a little.
Giles: Still asleep? It's ten thirty in the morning...Xander. Xander, wake up. Xander: Mom? Giles: No, it's not mum. Now, when you look at me...you may be a little alarmed but there's no need, it-it's me. Giles. Now, Ethan has turned me into a demon and I need your help.
Giles: Hello. Yes, it's me. Xander: AHHH! Giles: Xander, listen! Don't you understand me? Xander: Demon! Demon! Giles: Please, don't you understand? No, no! Don't! Xander! Xander, calm down! Ow! You're just a little overwrought. Oww! Xander: That's right! Run for your life!
Giles: Oh, God. I'm sorry! Mother: Call 911! Giles: Bloody humans!
Buffy: So it had pointy things. What kind of pointy things? Xander: The pointy kind. And tufty ears. Oh, and it might have a sauce pan shape bruise. Willow: Giles will know what it...was.
Buffy: Looks like Xander wasn't the only one to get a visitor today.» Xander: He's not upstairs. Willow: Oh, God, Giles. Buffy: Okay. There's a demon and Giles is gone. But it doesn't mean that he's hurt. I mean, there's no blood anywhere so maybe the demon just took him somewhere? Anya: I think it ate him up.
Spike: Well. What do I spy with my little eye? A demon. That would be...oh, right, the things I can kill. Giles: Spike. Wonderful. A perfect end to a perfect day. Spike: Giles? Giles: Go on, then. Let's get on with the fighting—You understand me? Spike: Of course I understand you. Giles: I'm speaking English? Spike: No, you're speaking Fyarl. I happen to speak Fyarl.
Spike: And...by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come over all demony this morning? Giles: As a matter of fact, I did. Thanks to Ethan Rayne. You have to help me find him. He must undo this and then he needs a...good being killed. Spike: And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart? Giles: Y-you help me and I-I don't kill you. Spike: Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter. Giles: Money. I could pay you money. Spike: Oh, I like money. How much?
Spike: So what's first? I run and tell the Slayer what you've gotten yourself into? Giles: No. When I find Ethan I can clear all this up without Buffy ever having to find out that anything happened to me at all.
Xander: Okay, that's a giant vulture. I'd have mentioned it if it was a giant vulture. Willow: Buffy, even if we figure out what kind of demon got Giles—I mean, how are we gonna find it? Buffy: We'll figure it out. Oh, this one has tufty ears.
Buffy: Riley. What are you doing here? *Riley: There were 911 calls from a couple of different places. Including here. Xander: You get 911 calls? Riley: We have a tap into the system. It flags things with possible nonhuman causes. We check them out. What are you doing here? Buffy*: This is Giles' apartment. He's missing.
Riley: What are you working on? Buffy: Uh, we have stuff. Pictures . . . Anya: We have nothing. Riley: I'll help. The whole Initiative. We'll do whatever you need. Buffy: Thanks. I just wish I knew what I needed. I keep thinking, "let's ask Giles" and then I remember. Xander: He'd be great right now. He'd find himself in a second. Nobody is cooler in a crisis.
Giles: If you can't find third gear, don't try for third gear! Spike: I'm doing my best. I don't know if I'm driving this thing or wearing it. Giles: It's perfectly serviceable. Spike: Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say "serviceable." Had a couple of them working for me once. They're more like "Like to crush. Crush now?" Strong though. You won't meet a jar you can't open for the rest of your life.
Spike: What was that? Did you growl? Giles: No. Listen, about this Fyarl demon. Do-do I have special powers? Like setting things on fire with my sizzling eye beams? Spike: Well, you got the mucous thing. Giles: What? Mucous? Spike: Paralyzing mucous. Shoots out through the nose. Sets on fast. Hard as a rock. Pretty good in a fight. Giles: Are you making this up? Spike: Maybe. But hey, you feel a sneeze coming on, you warn me.
Spike: Calm down, will you? Giles: I'm not sure I can. I feel like I'm changing. Spike: Fine with me. So long as you pay me. Giles: I really like this feeling. Sort of mindless need to destroy. This anger and rage. *Spike:* Good times. Go with it. Giles: No. Spike: Oh, it's fun. I can't do it, do it for me. Now let yourself go. Giles: I refuse to become a monster because I look like a monster. I have a soul. I have a conscience. I am a human being. Oh, stop the car!
Xander: That's the thing that attacked me. Willow: A Fyarl demon. Sort of a foot soldier type, works for other demons lots of the times. Very strong...ugh! And hey, mucous. Buffy: Mucous? Riley: Agent Finn, go ahead. Buffy: How do I kill it? Willow: Silver. A weapon made of silver.
Riley: Yes. I understand. The demon attacked Professor Walsh. Got out of a small, gray car. A Citroen. Willow: It stole Giles' car. Xander: Why would a demon steal a car? Anya: Why would a demon steal that car? Buffy: A demon that steals a car has a reason. A purpose. But it doesn't sound like these Fyarl demons are really big independent thinkers. So, Will, the spells that are going wrong...could they be caused by someone using majiks to control a demon? Making this Fyarl demon attack Giles? Willow: Yes. Yeah, that would draw in a lot of dark energy. Buffy: Okay. Willow, Xander: stay here. Who's ever controlling this demon may call and ask for a ransom. Give them anything they want.
Buffy: Riley, you and I are going to the magic shop. Maybe they needed supplies. Uh, something silver... Riley: A letter opener? It's not very sharp. Buffy: Then I'll have to put some muscle behind it.
Spike: Two of them. English like me. But older, less attractive. One of them gave you his number. Waitress: I threw it out. I mean, I took one look and saw that he was staying at that rat trap. No thanks. Spike: Which rat trap? Waitress: The one by the highway. The Sunnydale Motor Inn.
Buffy: Okay. Credit card slips, sales receipt. Help me look. Riley: You shouldn't have done that to the door. Buffy: I do not have time to play by the rules tonight. Riley: I have a master key. It opens every shop on Main Street. Buffy: Oh. Well...next time, absolutely.
Riley: I don't know what I'm looking for. Buffy: I do. Ethan Rayne. Riley: Who's that? Buffy: Professional bad guy. He's gotta be the guy that made the demon attack Giles. At least we know who we're looking for. Riley: Command, are you there? Buffy: What are you doing? Riley: It's agent Finn. I need a search. Local hotel registrations matching the name Ethan Rayne. R-A-Y-N-E. Call me back. Buffy: You can do that? Riley: It'll take a couple of minutes.
Buffy: Get in the car. Be ready to go. Riley: Buffy. Earlier, when I talked to Professor Walsh, she gave me very specific orders. Buffy: Yeah? Riley: She said when we located the demon I...I'm not supposed to bring you along. Buffy: Oh. Riley: Uh, what are you doing? Buffy: I'm going to the car. Riley: Buffy, I can't take you with me. Buffy: You're not taking me with you. I am going and I am letting you come along. Riley: Buffy, it's not really your call. This is a military operation now. Buffy: Then call out the troops. Because nothing less than that is gonna stop me. This demon did something to Giles and I'm gonna kill it.
Spike: How ya feeling, mate? Giles: Like snapping necks until everyone is dead. Spike: Now that sounds like a Fyarl demon. Good for you.
Spike: Hey, picked up a tail. Giles: Yes. Just a little one. It hurts when I sit. Spike: I mean someone is following us. Humvee. Military. Giles: Well speed up. Lose them. Spike: I got it floored. Why'd you buy this car?
Giles: Well do something. If they catch us, we'll both end up in a lab! Spike: It's getting closer. And it's got a friend! Giles: Damn! Spike: Oh, sure! Dismantle the getaway car. That'll scare them. Giles: Then slow down and I'll jump out. They'll follow you. Spike: Hold on. These commandos. They're the same guys that are after me too. Maybe I want you around to split their attention a bit? Giles: I'll pay you another hundred dollars.
Ethan: Now it-it-calm down! It's okay. Good Giles. No! No! Don't kill me! I can't undo you if you kill me!
Ethan: You've got to stop it! It killed Ripper and now it's trying to get me! Buffy: Don't let him go. What did you do to him? What did you do?!
Buffy: This is for Giles! Giles: For me? Buffy: Oh, God! Giles! Oh, God! Giles! Giles! I'm so--I'm so sorry! Please don't die! *Giles:* Actually, I feel quite well. Except for the rage. Buffy: I think he's okay. I—is this thing real silver?
Ethan: I really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the "stay and gloat" that gets me every time.
Buffy: You okay? Giles: Oh, um, uh, embarrassed, mostly. Ethan's wardrobe's not helping any. Uh, how did you know it was me? Buffy: Your eyes. You're the only person in the world that can looked that annoyed with me.
Ethan: Is this gonna go on much longer? I'd rather like to be going. Buffy: And why would I let you go? Ethan: Well, maybe because you have no choice. I'm human, you can't kill me. What's a Slayer going to do to me? Riley: By the authority of the US military, you're being taken into custody pending a determination of your status. Take it from here. Riley: They'll, uh, take Mr. Rayne to a secret detention facility in the Nevada desert. I'm sure he'll be rehabilitated in no time. Giles: Uh, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna go and watch them manhandle him into a vehicle.
Riley: I told you I'd help. Buffy: You did. If I'd had gotten here any later and if Giles had killed Ethan, I...never would have gotten him back. Riley: You'd find some other way. You're really strong. Like Spider-Man strong. Buffy: Yeah. But I don't stick to stuff. But...yeah. Riley: And you're in charge. You're like, make the plan, execute the plan..No one giving you orders. Buffy: I'm the Slayer. Riley: I like it. Buffy: Yeah? Riley: But give me another...oh...week to get ready. And I'll take you down.
Buffy: Nice phone. Giles: Yes. Fabulous technology. See, if anyone has information I need to know, they can, uh, simply tell me about it. Through this ingenious speaking tube. I'm very excited.
Buffy: I am sorry, Giles. I really thought I told you about Riley and the Initiative. And I know that it doesn't help. Look, I promise it won't happen again. I will tell you everything. Giles: Buffy, I don't want to ask you to betray any confidences, and I certainly don't want to interfere— Buffy: Uh-oh, you have "but-face." You look like you're gonna say "but." Giles: But...this, um, Initiative, I'm-I'm a little concerned. Ethan's not exactly a reliable source but, um...I'm not sure that he's wrong about them. Buffy: I'm not dating the Initiative. I'm dating Riley. He's a good guy. Giles: And I-I believe that. But he's part of something we-we don't really understand. Buffy: You sure you're not just saying this because you don't like Riley's boss? Giles: No! No. I'm not saying that at all. Though I do...hate her quite a lot. But I want you to have your personal life, but...keep your eyes open. Make sure you know what you're getting into.
Walsh: So she walks in and the rules just suddenly break? Riley: Umm...pretty much. Walsh: Be careful with her. She reacts on instinct. There's no discipline there. Her loyalties are uncertain.
Riley: You won't be disappointed in her. She's good at what she does. She is the truest soul I've ever known. Walsh: Oh, no oh, no! Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord, spare me college boys in love. Riley: I'm just saying she'll work out. You'll be proud of her. Walsh: You want to know what I think? I think you're probably right.
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