home wallpapers fan videos icons quotes & sounds screencaps links contact me		Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S2/Ep1 (13) "When She Was Bad" prev episode next episode Xander: It's your turn. Willow: I, alright, okay, uh..."In the few hours that we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth." Xander: Terminator. Willow: Good! Great. Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. "It's a madhouse! A mad..." Willow: Planet of the Apes. Xander: Can I finish, please? Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead. Xander: "...house!" Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh... Xander: Well? Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.' Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess? Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up. Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain... Xander: Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the most boring summer ever. Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff. Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school startin' up again. Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl we both know who is a Vampire Slayer? Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be gettin' back? About which I do not care. Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she went to L.A., but then, like, nothing. Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time. Willow: And you don't care? Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs... Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know. Xander: I got a movie for ya! Willow: Xander! Xander: "You're Amish! You can't fight back...'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!" Willow: Witness. My nose is cold. Xander: Let me get that for ya. Willow: Xander! Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty. Buffy: Hi, guys! Miss me? Xander: Man, your timing really doesn't suck. Willow: When'd you get back? Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers would be getting into some kind of trouble. Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way. Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy. Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire we've seen since you killed the Master. Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back. Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything? Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major theme. Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire... Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I? Xander: I like your hair. Willow: Yes! Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was burying the Master. Willow: That's right, you missed it. Right out by that tree. Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got to wear robes. Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been. Willow: Have you seen Giles? Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school. Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back. Buffy: Me, too. Joyce: More clothes? Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes? Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do? Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school clothing nightmare. Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with clothes. Hank: Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.? She did, yeah. She was, um...you know, great. Joyce: But? Hank: She was just, I don't know, um...distant. Not brooding or sulking, just...there was no connection. The more time we spent together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen. Joyce: Hence the shoes? Hank: I may have overcompensated a little bit. Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff down I knew what to say. Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school year. Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character? Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me. Giles: Yes. Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist. Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation? Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. Every time a pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool. Giles: Ms. Calendar! Jenny: Mr. Giles! Giles: Well, I, uh, um...Hello! Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other...all moony. Jenny: It's good to see you. Giles: Yes. Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning? Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room? Jenny: Sounds like fun! Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life. Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to myself. Giles: How was your summer? Jenny: Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock, ohhh, such a great festival, you should've been there. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances, you would've just...hated it witha fiery passion! Giles: I can't imagine finding any redeeming, uh...Naked? Jenny: Hmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book. Giles: Yes. I suppose you'd consider that frightfully dull. Jenny: Depends on the book. Xander: Yo! G-man! What's up? Giles: Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that. Giles: How are you? Buffy: Live and kicking. Willow: Buffy killed a vampire last night. Buffy: Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphragm. Willow: Sorry. Jenny: We've got vampires? I thought the Hellmouth was closed. Giles: Well, it's, it's closed, but not gone. The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area. Xander: Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town. Giles: I wonder if they're here for any purpose, particularly. Buffy: You're the Watcher. I just work here. Giles: Yes, I-I must consult my books. Xander: Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. Giles: Oh, uh, Buffy! Uh, I realize you've only just returned, but when you're ready I-I think we should start your training again. Buffy: I'm ready. I'll see you after school. Giles: Well, I-I-I understand if, if you want a few days to... Buffy: I'm ready. Giles: Buffy, that's enough. Buffy! Uh, safe to say you've stayed in shape. Buffy: I'm ready. Whatever they've got coming next, I'm ready. Yeah. Xander: Buffy! Buffy! Buffy: Fine! I'm fine. Xander: Good! It's good that you're fine. Willow: What were you thinking about? Buffy: Nothing. Xander: Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends! The friends of your bosom! Willow: Xander. Willow: What'd you do last night? Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams. Xander: Dreams are meaningful. Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander...Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it. Buffy: I bet she doesn't. Buffy: Giles! What is it? You look worried. Giles: This vampire activity, I think I know what they're up to. Buffy: Well, we'll deal with it. Giles: I hope it's that simple. Buffy: It is not to worry. Trust me. Giles: Oh, I don't know. I mean, I've killed you once, it shouldn't be too difficult to do it again. Buffy: What? Angel: How are you? Buffy: Peachy. So, is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or, well, it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour? Angel: It's not a social call. Buffy: Ah. So, lemme guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home. Angel: I'm sorry. I wish I had better news. Buffy: So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu! Angel: The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why. Buffy: Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh? Angel: You don't sound too concerned. Buffy: I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway. Angel: Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him. Buffy: Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream. Angel: Sorry. I'll go. I missed you. Buffy: I missed you? Joyce: How are your new classes? Buffy: Good. Joyce: Good. Is there the slightest chance that if I asked you what was wrong you would tell me? Course not. It would take all the fun out of guessing. Willow: Angel stopped by? Wow. Was there...Well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing? Buffy: Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing. Xander: Yeah. Some stuff's about groping. It wasn't about groping? Buffy: Okay, hormones on parade here? It was pure shoptalk. Remember vampires, pointy teeth, they walk by night, am I ringing a bell? Willow: What did he say? Buffy: Oh, something's up. I can't handle. Xander: Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight? Willow: Cibo Matto? They're playing? Xander: No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing. Willow: Cibo Matto can clog dance?...Oh, sarcasm, right. Xander: We should attend, no? Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers. Buffy: Was that an insult? Xander: Kinda lacked punch. Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool. Cordelia: I see your point. Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges. Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer? Willow: Uh, yes! Our own personal demons. Xander: Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift! Buffy: I would have to go with Stooges also. Cordelia: What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember? Prom night? With all the vampires. Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good. Xander: No. It's, see, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people, Buffy being the Slayer and all. Willow: You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you? Cordelia: Are you nuts? Do you think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy? And all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. So your secret's safe with me. Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron. Xander: Now, that was a good insult. Willow: A little too good. Cordelia: What's up with her? Willow: I just think something's up is all. Xander: Willow, you're paranoid. Willow: Buffy's never acted like this before. Ever since she got back she's...different. Xander: Buffy's always been different. Willow: She's never been mean. Absalom: Don't just stand there. Dig! We have to hurry. Vampire: The ground is consecrated! It burns! Collin: Dig. Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware? Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like. Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from. Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us? Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no "us". Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living. Willow: What's wrong with Angel? Buffy: Beats me. Let's dance. Xander: Ooo-kay. Buffy: Xander? Did I ever thank you...for saving my life? Xander: No. Buffy: Don't you wish I would? Cordelia: Buffy. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you? Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous? Cordelia: I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but...you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna do you a favor. Buffy: And this great favor is... Cordelia: I'm gonna give you some advice: Get over it. Buffy: Excuse me? Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now. Buffy: I think it's about time you start minding your own business. Cordelia: It's long past. Willow: She's possessed! Giles: Possessed? Willow: That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy. Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me?...She's possessed. Giles: Possessed by what? Willow: Aaaaah possessing thing! Giles: Well, that narrows it down. Xander: Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some...mystical bad guy transference thing happened. Willow:That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h? Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out. Xander: A bitca? Giles: Yes. I suggest that, uh, the explanation for her behavior may be something more, more mundane. She may simply have what you Americans refer to as issues. Uh, her experience with the Master must have been extremely traumatic. Well, she was, for at least a few minutes, technically dead. I-I don't think she's dealt with that on a conscious level. She's convinced herself that she's invulnerable...for the very reason that she feels... Xander: That's a very interesting point about trout, you just brought up now. Giles: Trout? Trout! Yes, trout, i-is a fish. Good morning. Did you sleep well? Buffy: Like a rock. Master's gone. Giles: I'm sorry? Buffy: The Master. I went by his grave last night, and they have a vacancy. Willow: What would somebody want with Master bones? Xander: A trophy, a horrible conversation piece? Buffy: They're gonna bring him back. They're gonna bring the Master back to life, and I seem to recall you telling me he was history. Giles: Buffy, I-I-I've never heard of a-a revivification ritual being successful. Buffy: But you've heard of them? Thanks for the warning. Willow: Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and... Buffy: Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay? Could we have just a little less from the civilians, please? Xander: Okay, that's just about enough! Snyder: I believe some of us have class? And some of us have jobs. Giles: Y-yes, well, I'll, uh, I'll see you all, uh, in the library later. We'll, we'll continue this discussion. Willow: About trout. Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense. Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five. Snyder: That Summers girl. I smell trouble. I smell expulsion, and just the faintest aroma of jail. Giles: Well, before you throw away the key, you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may surprise you. Snyder: You really have faith in those kids, don't you? Giles: Yes, I do. Snyder: Weird. Giles: Alright, alright, I-I-I've got something. It's Latin, so bear with me. Uh, to revive the vampire they need his bones, uh...w-which they have, and, um, the blood...this is very unclear, of the closest person...uh, someone connected to the vampire. Buffy: That'd be me. Giles: Perhaps. Buffy: We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness. Xander: Whoa! Buffy: This is Cordelia's. "Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal." Xander: They're gonna cook her dinner? I'll pretend I didn't say that. Willow: What do we do? Buffy: I go to the Bronze and save the day. Xander: I don't like this. Giles: Nor I! Buffy: Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going. Willow: What do you mean? Buffy: I can't do it anymore. I can't look after the three of you guys while I'm fighting. Willow: Well, what about the rest of the note? Buffy: What rest of the note? Willow: The part that says, "P.S. This is a trap"? Giles: You'll be playing straight into their hands. Buffy: I can handle this. Willow: Stop saying that! God, what's wrong with you? Xander: Cordelia may be dead. Buffy: This is my fight. Buffy: Y'know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls. Angel: You need help. Someone to watch your back. Buffy: Sure you don't mean my neck? Angel: Why are you ridin' me? Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say "undead American"? Angel: You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone. Buffy: I trust me. Angel: You're not as strong as you think. Buffy: You think you can take me? Angel: What? Buffy: Oh, c'mon! I mean, you must've thought about it. What would happen if it ever came down to a fight, you vampire, me the Slayer, I mean, you must've wondered! Well, why don't we find out? Angel: I'm not gonna fight you. Buffy: Come on! Kick my ass! Angel: Don't you have somewhere to be? Buffy: I do. Angel: Well, you're wasting time. Buffy: Just stay out of my way. Angel: Happy to oblige. Buffy: That's not Cordelia. Vampire: Cordelia couldn't make it. Buffy: Where is she? Vampire: I'm not supposed to tell. Angel: I don't like this. Buffy: Don't like what? Angel: There's the bait. Where's the hook? Buffy: You're right. Why would they send just one? Willow: I still think we should've gone with her. Xander: Buffy's about to lose it. I think we should be trying to reach minimum safe distance. Willow: Xander, you know it's a trap! Giles: Ah! Ah, ah, ah! Uh, uh, the Latin is, is translated from the Sumerian, a-a-and rather badly. Closest to the Master actually translates as 'nearest'. Physically. The, the, the person or persons who were with him...when he...It is a trap. It just isn't for her. Buffy: Watch her. Don't kill her unless you have to. Angel: Buffy! What's goin' on? Buffy: I'll be back. Buffy: What happened? Xander: Vampires. The ones you could handle yourself. Buffy: Where are the others? Xander: I don't know. I don't know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of now, I officially don't care. If you'd worked with us for five seconds, you coulda stopped this. Buffy: We, we just have to think. Where would they have taken them? Xander: If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you Buffy: Why did they take them and not you? Xander: Giles said the ritual was, um...They needed people who were close to the Master. Physically close. When he, uh... Buffy: The ones who were with the Master when he died. Xander: Giles, Willow, Cordelia... Buffy: Ms. Calendar. Xander: Odds are they've got a complete set by now. Buffy: One more time: where are they? Vampire: You're too late. Your friends are dead. Buffy: Tell me where they are! Vampire: What are you gonna do? Kill me? Buffy: As a matter of fact...yes. But since I'm not gonna kill you any time soon, the question becomes... how are we gonna pass the time till then? Xander: Buffy! Buffy! We gotta do something now! Buffy: You two get the others out of here. Angel: We need you to distract the vampires. Buffy: Right. Xander: What are you gonna do? Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them. Absalom: For the old one. For his pain. For the dark. Vampires: For the dark! Giles: Are you alright? Jenny: Yeah, I'm okay. Giles: Where's Buffy? Xander: Uh, she's working out her issues. Absalom: ENOUGH! Your day is done, girl. I'll grind you into a sticky paste, and hear you beg before I smash in your face. Buffy: So, are you gonna kill me or are we just making small talk? Cordelia: What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is? Jenny: What? Cordelia: It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains. Jenny: Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains. Cordelia: I hear ya! Buffy: I don't think I can face them. Giles: Hmm? Of course, you can. Buffy: I can't! What am I supposed say? "Sorry I almost got your throat slit. What's the homework?" Giles: Punishing yourself like this is pointless. Buffy: It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school. Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life? Buffy: Would it have cable? Giles: Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit that. But believe me, that was hardly the, the worst mistake you'll ever make. Uh, that wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be. Buffy: Well, points for effort. Willow: Hey, Buffy. Buffy: Hey. Willow: We saved you a seat. Xander: There's a rumor going around that, uh, Mr. Cox is the most boring teacher in the entire world. Like, I think he won a belt or something. Buffy: Like, yes. Willow: Well, I hear he nods off a lot. So that's a plus. Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight? Willow: Wednesday, it's kinda beat. Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night. Hey, I got a plan: how 'bout miniature golf. Willow: There's no course here. Xander: Okay, uh, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent... prev episode next episode