home wallpapers fan videos icons quotes & sounds screencaps links contact me		Quotes | Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S1/Ep5 (5) "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date" prev episode next episode Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Buffy, and you're history! Giles: Poor technique. Prioritizing, sub-par...Execution was adequate, but a bit too bloody for my taste. Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again. Giles: I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y-you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge, and move on. Plunge and...Hello. Buffy: Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their stuff. Giles: Yes! Well, I...I thought this vampire was just on a random kill, but it may be something else. Buffy: Something big? Giles: Yes. I'd best consult my books. Master: "And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into Hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. "And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait. That's not written anywhere. The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you...Here endeth the lesson. Giles: That symbol on the ring...I believe it's the rune for fidelity, but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied. Buffy: What about this? On the inside. It's a sun and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere? Giles: Let me see. No, I-I don't think this, um, represents any... Buffy: Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuck, check these guys out. Told you it looked familiar. Giles: Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right. Buffy: Oooh, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score! Owen: I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket. Buffy: I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more...So! Emily Dickens, huh? She's great! Owen: Dickinson. Buffy: She's good also. Owen: I didn't think I'd find you here. Buffy: W...Why not? Owen: I, I didn't mean...I mean...I think you can read. Buffy: Thanks. Buffy: Oh, well, I love books. I mean, I really love books. Owen: What's this? Buffy: Not this one. Giles: This one she doesn't love. Giles: Oh, Emily Dickinson. Buffy: We're both fans. Giles: Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a... Buffy: A girl? Giles: For an American. Owen: I'll, uh, see you in math...if I open my eyes at some point. Buffy: Cool... Giles: The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If they're here, it's for a good reason. Buffy: That was Owen! Giles: Yes, I remember. Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one. Giles: Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand. Buffy: Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires. Oh. Does this outfit make me look fat? Willow: Owen Thurman was talking to you? Buffy: It's all true. Willow: Wow! He hardly talks to anyone. He's solitary, mysterious...He can brood for forty minutes straight, I've clocked him. Buffy: He was so nice, it was eerie. Willow: What did you guys have to talk about? Buffy: Emily Dickinson. Willow: He reads Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive, yet manly! Well, wait, you've never even read her. Xander: Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is? Buffy: Hmm, I'm avoiding the subject. Xander: I think it's kale, or possibly string cheese.. Xander: So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night? Buffy: Xander! Xander: I mean, how'd the laying go?...No, I don't mean that either. Buffy: There's some new hoidy-toidy vampire sect in town. Willow: That's bad. Xander: Well, hey, they're bringing in the much needed tourist dollars. Cordelia: Owen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. You there? Owen: Who's all going? Cordelia: Well, um, I'm gonna be there. Owen: Who else? Cordelia: You mean besides me? Owen: Buffy, what about you? Buffy: What? Cordelia: No, no, no! She, uh, she doesn't like fun. Willow: It's a very big deal! Buffy: It's not! Willow: It is. Tell her! Giles: I'm afraid it's very big. Buffy: The Order of Aurelius. Giles: You were spot-on about the connection. I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed. Willow: Who's that? Giles: Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus. Buffy: Well, we'll be ready whenever it is. Giles: Which is tonight. Buffy: Tonight, okay...Not okay! It can't be tonight! Giles: My calculations are precise. Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad! Willow: Buffy has a really important date. Buffy: Owen! Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show. Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm. Giles: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master. Buffy: But...Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies! Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle! Giles: Perhaps I miscalculated. Buffy: I'm thinking yes. Giles: Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting. Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago? Giles: Oh, very well then. Follow your hormones if you want. But I assume I don't have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who's unaware of your unique condition. Buffy: Yeah, yeah, I read the back of the box. Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger. Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, "I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!" Giles: "Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise." I was sure it was tonight. Collin: I went on an airplane. Andrew: A pale horse emerged with death as its rider. You will be judged. You will be judged. Andrew: That day's gonna bring fire. Fire comin' down! Judgment! Don't think you're ready, ready to look upon him. If there's sin in there, there's sin all around. It's a liquid. On that day there won't be anybody tellin' us what to do or why we're doin' it. You can't prepare. On that day... Driver: Hey, you gotta sit down. Okay? Andrew: Are you willing to stand with the righteous? Xander: So you just went home? Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, "Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?" Xander: Or...flat tire? Buffy: I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster. What? Yeah, that's right, I have no life, c'mon, nothin' to see here, pal, move it along! Xander: You're acting a little overly, aren't you? I mean, you could have any guy in school. Buffy: He's not any guy. He's more...Oweny. Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to find. I mean, a lotta guys read. I can read. Xander: Oh, look, it's Owen. Buffy and Owen. And Xander. That'd be me. Owen: W-where were you last night? Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was... Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch. Buffy: Tonight? Y-you and me? Owen: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they start fights... Buffy: Oh, no, it's just...Well, I...sort of heard that...you and Cordelia were...somewhat...all over each other. A little... Owen: I danced with her a couple of times. She's kinda grabby. Buffy: Hey, how's it going? Giles: Uh, alright. Buffy: That's great! I see we're still working on that Anointed One problem, that'll probably take you a few days, right? I mean, that's one obscure prophecy... Giles: Well, yes, there are a few interpretations... Buffy: So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, no big disasters coming, that is so good, I will see you tomorrow then! Bye! Giles: (to himself) She is the strangest girl. Master: You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to freeing myself from this...mystical prison. I've been trapped down here so long I've nearly forgotten what it's like on the surface. Well, there'll be time enough to remember...when I rule it! If she tries to stop you, kill her. Give your own lives, but do not fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me. Buffy: Okay, do I wanna appear shy, coy and naive or unrestrained, insatiable and aggressive? Xander: Uh, y'know, Owen is a little home spun, he probably doesn't like that overly assertive look. Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap! The earflaps will bring out your eyes! Buffy: Maybe I should mix and match. Okay, guy's opinion. Which one do you think Owen will like better? The red or the peach? Xander: Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your back? The red's fine. Willow: So, where's he taking you? Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days? Buffy: Buffy's not home. Giles: My calculations may not have been as far off as I thought. Buffy: "Five Die in Van Accident"? Giles: Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one. That's the prophecy. Five people have died! Buffy: Giles, why do you wanna hurt me? Giles: I beg your pardon? Owen: Hey! (to Giles) Uh, hi! Giles: You have a date? Buffy: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow. Giles: Wait, you're not getting off that easily. Owen: Man, you really care about your work! Giles: Another date? Don't you ever do anything else? Buffy: This is the first date! There's never been a date, okay? This is my maiden voyage! Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance? Xander: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched. Willow: Xander... Xander: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her. Buffy: We don't even know if this is anything. Giles: No, we don't. Buffy: And I haven't had a day off in a while. Giles: True... Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer! Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer...i-i-is problematic at best. Buffy: This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date. Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me. Giles: Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up. Willow: We should...go along. Xander: Yeah, you're right. I don't trust that Owen guy. It's the eyes. Crazy! Willow: Xander, we should go with Giles! He could get in trouble! Xander: Oh, he's gone, uh, it's, he's gonna be alright. He's like super librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Owen: The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is, is she's just so incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death...It gets me. With a lot about bees, for some reason. Buffy: Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees? Owen: It's weird. Buffy: What is? Owen: You! One minute you're right there. I've got you figured. The next, it's like you're two people. Cordelia: Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? Owen! Look at you, here all alone... Owen: Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy. Cordelia: Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance? Owen: No, I'm still here with Buffy. Owen: Are you, uh, having fun? Buffy: Yeah. I almost feel like a girl. Xander: Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for Buffy? Giles: Uh, she has her, her...beeping thing! Um, no phone, of course. Owen: Do you want something to eat? Buffy: Sure. Just make it something fattening. Cordelia: What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean, I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh! Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him. Angel: Buffy. Buffy: Angel. Cordelia: Why is this happening to me? Angel: I was hoping I'd find you here. Buffy: You were? Angel: Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there. Buffy: No, not you, too. Angel: What do you know? Buffy: Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada... Buffy: Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? He came here to be with me. Angel: You're here on a date? Buffy: Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone? Owen: Look at this! You show up everywhere. Interesting. Xander: You don't know the half of it. (points at Angel) What's he doing here? Angel: I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here. Buffy: Uh, excuse me, what are any of you doing here? Xander: Look, we gotta get to, uh...Uhhh. We thought it'd be fun if, uh, we made this a double date! Buffy: I didn't know you guys were seeing each other. Willow: Oh, yeah, well, we knew it would happen eventually, so we figured, hey! Why fight it? Xander: Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together. Buffy: Gee, that's so nice of you to ask, but Owen and I were, well, sort of...Owen and I. Xander: You know what'd be cool? The Sunnydale Funeral Home! Xander: We saw some guys in there before. They seemed to be having fun! Buffy: (to herself) Bite me! Owen: Buffy...What's the deal? Do you wanna bail on me? Buffy: No! No...no...uh...You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise. Owen: (to Angel) She's the strangest girl! Buffy: What happened? Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them. Buffy: Meaning...? Giles: I hid. Giles: Owen? You brought a date? Buffy: I didn't bring him, he came. Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time. Buffy: I have to go now. Um, to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet. And barricade the door. Owen: I read a lot about death, but...but I've...never really seen a dead body before. Do they...usually move? Andrew: I have been judged! He is risen in me! He fills my head with song! Andrew: They told me about you while I was sleeping. Uh! Why does he hurt me? Owen: Did you see that? He tried to bite me! What a sissy! Buffy: You killed my date! Owen: Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty? Buffy: Owen! Owen: What happened to that guy? Buffy: Oh...We scared him away. Owen: Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've... Buffy: I know. Here...I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date. Owen: Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben & Jerry's. Buffy: Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home? Willow: Oh, you mean specifically about you? Buffy: Or generally...i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of indication? Xander: Well, in that case, no. Willow: But he was pretty incoherent, so we might've missed it. Buffy: You think? Xander: No. Xander: No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, "Hey! I like that girl!" Someone like... Buffy: Owen! Owen: Totally. And...I was wondering when I could see you again. Buffy: Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat that? Owen: I think you're the coolest! Buffy: Really? Owen: I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so...alive! Buffy: So that's why you wanna be with me. Owen: Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again? Buffy: Something like... Owen: Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight? Buffy: Tonight would...be...not a workable thing. Did I just say that? Owen: Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week. Buffy: I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me. Owen: Right. It's you. Giles: I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher. He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next. Buffy: Were you thrilled beyond all measure? Giles: No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh...My father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice. Buffy: Sacrifice, huh? Buffy: Yeah. But he wants to be danger man. You, Xander, Willow, you guys...you guys know the score, you're careful. Two days in my world and Owen really would get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed. Or someone else. Giles: I, I went to the funeral home of my own free will. Buffy: And I should've been there. Giles: I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I must say, as a Slayer, you're, you're doing...pretty well. Buffy: Well. At least I did stop that prophecy thing from coming true. Giles: You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself. Master: "And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell." (to Collin) Welcome, my friend. prev episode next episode